Hugh Hefner Takes a Child Bride

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hefner and crystal harris

The jolly old Playboy troll Hugh Hefner recently announced his engagement to his 24 year old girlfriend, Crystal Harris.  Now in case you were wondering about the mathematics of this viagra laced union, Hugh is 84, making him 60 years her senior.

Q:  How many times does 24 go into 84?

A:  3 1/2

I think we can assume no matter how many little blue pills the soon to be groom is popping, 84 is not going into 24 that often 😉

As far as Crystal goes, rather than crudely assuming she is a gold digger, I prefer to think she has some kind of a freaky wrinkle fetish.